Beauty and the Sabertooth on Broadway - Part 9 - Dagger ("Gaston")
Dagur/Gaston: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. *Snotlout/LeFou: Darn right. *Dagur/Gaston: No one says "no" to Dagur. Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated. Why, it's more than I can bear. *Snotlout/LeFou: More beer? *Dagur/Gaston: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. *Snotlout/LeFou: Who, you? Never! Dagur, you've got to pull yourself together. Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Dagur Looking so down in the dumps Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Dagur Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're ev'ryone's favorite guy Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why No one's slick as Dagur No one's quick as Dagur No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Dagur For there's no man in town half as manly Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Hans, Savage or Eret And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on *Snotlout/Lefou, Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town(Frozen)/Old man and Chorus: No one's been like Dagur A king pin like Dagur LeFou:No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Dagur *Dagur/Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! *Snotlout/Lefou, Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: My what a guy, that Dagur! Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" *Snotlout/LeFou: Gagur is the best And the rest is all drips'' *Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: ''No one fights like Dagur Douses lights like Dagur *Snotlout/LeFou: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Dagur! *Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty (Shrek 1&3)/Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny *Dagur/Gaston: As you see I've got biceps to spare *Snotlout/LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny *Dagur/Gaston: That's right! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair *Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: No one hits like Dagur Matches wits like Dagur *Snotlout/LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Dagur *Dagur/Gaston: I'm espcially good at expectorating! Ptoooie! *Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: Ten points for Dagur! *Dagur/Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge! (Dagur stretch his muscles.) *Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: Oh, ahhh, wow! My what a guy, that Dagur! (Dagur was dancing in a wrestling. Suddenly, Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty goes towards Dagur to feel his muscle.) *Dagur/Gaston: No, no no Please. There's plenty for all. (Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty feel Dagur's muscles one at a time. Even Snotlout. And Dagur hits Snotlout off of his muscle. and the Vikings, Fergus's Armies, and People (of Far Far Away) dance again with beer.) *Hans/Tom, Savage/Dick, Eret/Stanley, The Duke of Weasel Town/Old man and Chorus: No one shoots like Dagur Makes those beauts like Dagur *Snotlout/LeFou: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Dagur *Dagur/Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating! Chorus: My what a guy, Dagur! Category:Movies Spoofs Category:Beauty and the Beast On Broadway Spoofs Category:Beauty and the Beast On Broadway Movie Spoofs Category:Broadway Spoofs Category:Broadway Movie Spoofs Category:Disney Broadway